It’s not your romantic one. Or your friendships. Or even your family.
It’s the one you have with yourself.
Of course every single relationship in our lives is significant, and we should nurture those with the utmost love and care. But you can’t be the partner, parent, best friend, daughter, son, sister, brother, etc. that you need to be if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself.
The relationship we have with ourselves is literally one we will have for the rest of our lives. No matter what. No matter who comes and goes. Truly, it will determine your entire reality, and your self relationship is a reflection of everything else in your life! It only makes sense that we start prioritizing it.
We MUST learn how to fully love ourselves before we can really give ourselves to another.
It’s only taken me 27 years to come to this realization. I’ve spent my whole life pouring my love into all relationships but the one with ME. Okay maybe not those toddler years or this one phase in 7th grade when I thought I was too cool for school. #sass.
But regardless, I’ve recently discovered that I had to learn how to enjoy my own company. How to trust my thoughts, my feelings, my needs. How to turn to MYSELF more often when I need help or encouragement. Really, it is about becoming your own best friend.
It’ll probably feel uncomfortable at first. But growth lies in the discomfort.
How do you develop this deeply important relationship?
Learn to be completely alone, and enjoy the company you keep. Start taking yourself out on dates. Coffee, dinner, to see a movie. Or take a walk! It doesn’t have to cost money, just spend some time with YOU.
Put Your Phone Away
On said dates, put your phone away. Learn to resist the temptation to scroll through social media, distracting yourself with other people’s lives in squares on the screen. You’ll crave the comfort of your phone, and it will probably feel awkward at first to not be staring at it. But just be fully present with your surroundings, and see where your thoughts take you. Life is happening right now, in this very moment. Not on your screen.
Write Love Letters To Yourself
Seriously. Write a list of all the things that make you awesome. There’s a lot, so brag about it! All of your qualities, accomplishments, the things that make you, YOU. There’s a reason why everyone loves you!
Be Aware of Your Thoughts
We have conversations in our heads all.day.long. So make sure they are good ones! I am certain that half the time, the things we say to ourselves we would never say to a friend. So stop that! You should be lifting yourself up all day. This will take some practice, but soon you’ll be complimenting yourself left and right.
Listen to your thoughts. Learn to understand who you are, at your very core. Without the noise of the world telling you who you should be.
Ask yourself if there are situations in your life where you can rely on YOU more. Are you depending on the love of someone else as a means of not needing to love yourself?
It’ll take work. It must become a daily practice. But I promise it’s so worth it.
Start today. So that no matter who you find yourself around, or in relationship with, you don’t rely on them to complete you. Because you are whole, entirely on your own. The ones you love most just add to it.